Why did I choose February for this challenge?

I have been known to not think things out and this month's challenge is a prime example of that!  I have been working for Arbonne since November and we have been challenging others to start a 30 day program for healthy living.  It seems easy enough, wake up, drink a protein shake and replace coffee with a fizz stick, then eat two clean meals for lunch and dinner, all while avoiding sugar.  What I neglected to think about was the fact that February is my birthday AND Valentine's day.  Not that I have a Valentine to give me chocolates but I definitely had students giving my cookies and treats and was completely surprised to receive a two layered cake for my birthday.  I could have self control and pass on such things but how do you say no to cookies with M & Ms and two layered cake?  I sure didn't!

I bet you are keeping up with me here to know that I have made a sad sad effort this month.  My only hope is that  I can finish the month out strong!  I can right?

 

While this month has been my most difficult month, last month was a breeze.  I took challenge to listen to nothing but Christian radio for 30 days and I honestly could not have predicted the results.  If I am going to be completely honest, I have always sought the world's approval.  That is how I would get my affirmation.  Years ago, in my accident, I started focusing more on who I was in God but it has been a struggle.  Last month however, I was exposed to nothing but God's promises.  I started listening to songs, that I had heard and sung along to millions of times, differently.  While it was nice to start listening to country again, my radio mainly stays on a Christian radio station.  Words cannot express how much it uplifts my mood listening to songs that are about the God who created me to be exactly who I am today.  I am more in love with my savior now then when I started one month ago and I challenge all of you to seek that love out too!

My schedule finally caught up with me this past month and I felt completely overwhelmed.  I had no time for myself and I was struggling with finding balance.  On countless occasions, this song would come on at the exact moment I needed it.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiGb14tTaH4

1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you".  God took my "overwhelmed" feelings (my stress and anxiety) and gave me a sense of "overwhelming" love and passion for him.

The 30...or in this case...31 day challenge

I have always been known at the goody goody church girl....shocked?  For years, I would get embarrassed when people would comment on my faith and for some reason, from time to time, I still do.  For example, one of my friends was commenting on the fact that I don't get overly excited about things but I do about church.  I gave the, "shut up"/embarrassed response again.  While I no doubt am confident about my faith, I no longer want to respond like that.  Instead, I want to be proud that someone sees that excitement in me.  Is there a better testimony than to be completely and wholeheartedly excited about your faith? 

The message this past Sunday set up the scene we are going to see as we go through the book of Ephesians.  There was a verse in Acts 19:15-16 that talked about how the priest of Ephesus went into a house to cast out a demon but because they were not true followers, the demon said to them, "Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?"  Chris followed with the questions, Are you a threat?, Does Satan even know your name?, and, Are you living life in such a way that someone in your life is seeing that's different?  I was definitely hit hard by those questions.  My hope and prayer is that I am a HUGE threat to Satan because the way I am living my life is taking people away from his kingdom and leading them towards God's.  I hope Satan knows my name and doing whatever it takes to get me to stray because that means his hold on my life has slipped away.  And I hope that people see that I live differently.  That I don't live according to the ways of the world because, while people may think I am crazy, I know that my obedience only helps grow my faith and helps expand them kingdom of my God.  You can call me crazy or overzealous but I am standing for what I believe in and for once, am not going to shy away.

So what is with the 30 day challenge?  I have heard it on the radio for months and have always brushed it off.  One of the Christian radio stations challenges it's listeners to listen to only Christian radio for 30 days but since January has 31 days, I thought I could go one more.  I am going to admit, it's difficult so far and I am only in day 5.  Some of the music is super cheesy, I must admit, and with only two Christian stations, it's sometimes hard to find a good song.  Plus, I don't always get the best reception.  I know it sounds like I am making excuses but I am not.  I am just sharing with you why it can become a challenge.  Good thing Pandora exists because there is an unlimited supply of music there!  The reason I have finally decided to take this challenge though is so I can start the new year off right.  What better way to fill my soul than with Christian music that is constantly reassuring and affirming me?  I think this is a monthly I will be successful in!

Three Months Overdue

I know I know!  I haven’t written blogs for October, November OR December.  I will blame it mostly on my laziness but I have also been super busy.  It’s not like I haven’t been challenging myself for these months...I just haven’t written!

October started with my pastor challenging the congregation to keep a happiness journal.  He told us to start a journal and on a daily basis, write something down that makes us joyful.  I wanted to start one so desperately but, at that time in my life, there wasn’t much to be thankful for.  I was working at a place that wasn’t giving me enough hours, making paying rent and bills stressful as all heck!  While I wasn’t finding joy in many things, I definitely learned humility, having to beg form friends. 

Things were just starting to look up for me when I woke up on Halloween morning.  My plan for that day was to wake up, write my blog on how I was really trying to be joyful and then head to a party that night with my growth group friends.  I went on Facebook, like I do in bed every morning, and read an article my friend posted.  One of our growth group members had been killed in a car crash.  It didn’t seem like reality!  While I can’t say I knew him well, I couldn’t get my act together that day.  I felt sick to my stomach and could not even function at work.  I was happy to have time already scheduled out to be with my growth group friends that night but as you can assume, the mood wasn’t upbeat and I stayed for an hour.   My joyfulness quickly diminished.

November started off in a haze.  Like I said, I didn’t know Matt well but his death just took me by surprise.  I have experienced death in my life but I have always been prepared for it.  Matt’s death was so sudden that it seemed more like a horrible nightmare.  I finally snapped out of my funk after I went to a tribute for him.  See, he was an actor in the local theaters, a reason why our group didn’t get to spend a lot of time with him.  Thursdays, the nights we would meet, were also rehearsal nights.  Matt loved acting though and so we got to spend our time with him, watching his plays.  His tribute was put on by his actor family and there, we got to to see more into who Matt was.  I got to see that Matt was the same person in growth group as he was to everyone around him.  While it doesn’t seem fair that someone should be taken at 30 years old, I eventually found peace and really started living out my challenge of the previous month, to find joy in the little things.  You never know how many days you have left to live….I want to spend it loving those around me and being who God created me to be. 

Once I started changing my attitude towards life, I started seeing everything in life as a blessing.  I even got a job teaching science!  While I am still working on my goal of being an accountant, I have taken on a huge challenge in itself…teaching science to kids K through 6^th.  My goal this month has been to learn the name of all of my students.  It has been tough but I am definitely getting there!

So to sum it up, I am thankful, I am blessed and I am ready to start this new year with a whole new outlook on life!  Here are some moments that have summed up my year.  So thankful for my friends and family!

                                                                                                       Weekend camping trip 

                        Ali's wedding

Christmas Collective at the Flood

                                                Marry Poppins.  The last play I saw Matt in.

                                                              The loves of my life!

I don't blame you if you laugh at me!

So I’ve always known that I was a little nerdy.  I love sci-fi novels, cheesy jokes, and numbers… whether I’m solving a Sudoku puzzle or manipulating numbers on a license plate.  I never knew how nerdy I was until tonight though.  During accounting class, my professor said something that made me remember a childhood game I used to play and when I looked it up later, guess where I found it…yup…at coolmath-games.com/lemonade/ (You should try it out)!  I asked my accounting friends if they had played it and all they could do was stare at me in disbelief.  I guess my love for that game should have told me, long ago, that I had a business mindset.  For the past few months now, every expense I incur or every bit of revenue that comes in, I place that into the income statement that is constantly in my head.  So, I thought it appropriate to continue this post as an income statement, tracking the good events as “revenues” and the not so good events as “expenses”. 

ERICA PALMER

Income Statement

For the month ended September 30, 2014

Revenues

                Current grade in Accounting                                                                                     99%

                Current grade in Business Math                                                                                98%

                Members in the Growth Group I am now leading                                                  avg.12

                Support from friends and family                                                                        unlimited

                Grasp on new barista job                                                                                            80%

                Love for tutoring                                                                                                     infinite

Expenses

                Stress from not having enough income to pay rent                A lot

                Loss of sleep from stress                                                        A lot

                Free time for friends, family, school work                                    0

                                Total Expenses                                                                                  (A lot x 2) + 0

Net Income                                                                                                                        Revenues far  outweighing expenses

               

In conclusion, this month has been stressful but I have way more than I could ask for!  Now you may have seen “Members in the Growth Group I am now leading” under revenue.  That was my challenge this month.  I had been asked to lead a few years back but had never wanted to.   While my life was in flux a few months ago, a friend asked me if I would like to co-lead a Growth Group with him and for some reason, I said yes. 

Yes, this Growth Group adds one more thing to my plate that I have to put time and effort into…a leader can’t go into a meeting unprepared…but I am so glad I committed.  We have only had two meetings but my group seems super legit.  The group consists of returnees and newbies but we all seem to fit.  I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for this group and for my personal growth. 

1 hour and 10 minutes before the end of the month…nerd out!

Two Weeks Down

I have just finished up my second week of classes and I am happy to say the excitement hasn’t died…well maybe in my business math class but at least it will be easy! 

Highlights of the past two weeks: -I know how many states there are.  Yup, some people in my class said t here were 52!  

-I got a 95% on my first Financial Accounting Quiz

-AND….my accounting professor knows my name!  In elementary school, that is probably not a good thing.  If a teacher knows your name right off the bat it’s probably because he/she is having to say it over and over again to get you to listen.  In college though, that means you are participating and I only participate when I am confident of my answer….which means I am actually understanding this stuff!  

Now some of you are probably reading this, thinking to yourself that I am way too excited.  Here is where I am coming from though…I went to school to become a teacher.  We don’t really take a lot of classes that incorporate the business world.  I know it’s just week two and I am well aware that what I am learning right now is foundational for the tougher stuff up ahead but the fact that I am gaining confidence early on, in a field that I never thought I would be dabbling in, makes me excited for what the rest of the semester holds.

Hooray for school!

First week of class is done and over and I am still alive!  I have even completed my business math homework…minus the reading.  Do you have to read if you know how to do the work? 

My accounting class is another story!  I am NOT business minded at all and dang, did my professor hit the ground running.  While I was a little intimidated, I am super psyched!  My professor is so passionate (yet awkward) about accounting that it makes it fun to learn.  Who knows how long I will be saying that, especially since class is 4 hours long but right now, I am excited to start this new adventure!

I am still looking for work, so if anyone knows of anything, let me know!

Philippians 4:6

Soooo this has been a rough two months and this blog is combining both months together.  I wasn’t able to blog last month because I didn’t want to raise alarm with coworkers or family until I had made an ultimate decision.

Last month, I had an interview for a full time teaching position.  I had gone over to my parents’ house to prepare when I had a freak out moment.  I literally sobbed for what seemed like hours.  There was something inside of me that was not passionate about it.  However, I had a grown up moment and decided that I needed to interview….1) for the experience and 2) because my principal, whom I respect greatly, had put my name in the pool of people to be interviewed.  I HAD to do the interview.  I didn’t end up getting a job offer, which I what I went in expecting so I wasn’t defeated.  I wasn’t going to be a full time teacher but I still had my math position.

This month, however, as school got closer, I wasn’t feeling at peace with taking the math position.  It’s not that anything went wrong last year.  Please don’t take it that way.  This decision was so difficult for me because my principal and coworkers have been nothing but supportive.   Unfortunately I ran out of time and today, I made the choice to take a step back.  Again, my principal was more than supportive about my choice.  In addition to taking a step back this month, I also made the decision to go back to school.  Starting next Monday, I will be taking classes two nights a week for accounting.  

Like I said at the beginning of this blog, these past two months have been rough.  There have many tears and fights and doubts.  I have contemplated and prayed and finally surrendered everything over to God.  I asked him to give me a peace about leaving my job and he has.  That doesn’t mean my stomach isn’t turning and thoughts of, “Are you stupid?” aren’t running through my mind but I have to have faith that God will be my provision.  Philipians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."  He knows where my heart has been and is now.  I am sure a job is not going to fall in my lap and it may not be my dream job, but I am trusting in His timing and promise.

And that is where you come in!  I need a job!  I know there was the option of moving back in with my parents….they have been clear about that…but I would obviously love to stay where I am at.  If there are any jobs you can refer me to, that would be awesome!  I am searching on my own but these days, it’s all about who you know.  I know that at least a few people read my blog so I am reaching out to you and asking for your connections.  If you don’t have any, then I am asking for your prayers.  

I will keep you all updated on the new adventures of life.  I am sure I will have to do some venting when school starts.  I can’t believe that after six years, I am going back to school.  Books have been bought and I have found my classroom.  All that’s left is getting the first day jitters over and done with!  Here’s to the next few months and the next two years (for the accounting program)!