Candid

Today's sermon was on "God's Will".  While it was a good message, it was frustrating at the same time. The conclusion my pastor made was that there probably will not be an audible voice nor will we always get a conclusive answer on "where God wants us to be".  Instead, he claimed that as long as we follow God and remain in him, he will always be with us.

Like I said, it was a good message and it was also reassuring that as long as we are walking with God we are in his will but for people like me, at this stage in life, I WANT/NEED to hear an audible voice.  I need guidance of where he wants me because I feel unsettled at where I am at.  I thought by doing this 30 months before 30, I would learn more about myself and be satisfied with who I am and where I am....but I'm not.  And maybe it's just because I am going through a phase and it will pas but every day I long to be somewhere else.  Maybe once I finally move out of my parents house I will feel better but right now my mind is on Italy, Vietnam and even Arizona.  Italy because it was such a fun place to visit and it seems like a place that would be easy to settle into.  Plus, you have to admit, Italian is a beautiful language nor are the men bad lookin!  Vietnam is always on my heart because I don't just have friends over there but I have a family and I miss them on a daily basis.  Arizona is a new thought but my roommate from Vietnam lives there and she is one of the greatest people I know!  I loved every day I got to spend with her and our other roommate and I would be just fine moving out there with her.

I am not saying this to hurt feelings because honestly, I have amazing friends and a family that I love dearly but I am restless.  I feel like I need more out of my life right now and I keep waiting for God to show me where he wants me but I guess that's not going to happen.  Guess I need to start making some decisions!