I don't need a book. Just give me country lyrics!

I just spent a girls weekend in Palm Springs and was able to reflect on a few things while being secluded from guys.  I loved my weekend away and I love that I have such strong women in my life who aren't afraid to tell me things I need to hear.  I don't know what I said but one friend made a comment, "you and your singleness!"  I know I am verbal about the fact that I would like a boyfriend but I have never put myself in the person's shoes that has to listen to me whine!  I think what I learned this weekend though will help me with my "singleness".

A few lessons learned this month.

I LOVE country music! It’s sappy, the instruments are beautiful, the deep, husky voice are amazing (yes, I know those who disagree) and it’s sappy...did I mention that already?  Now, I know I am weird because I don’t want anyone actually saying those things to me but I wouldn’t mind having someone think of me when they hear those lyrics...confused yet?

I love the Love and Theft song, “If You Ever Get Lonely”.  It’s such a heart-wrenching song but I love the passion behind it.  My favorite stanza is

But I keep listenin'
'Cause I never had a choice when it came to you

I don’t ever want someone to have a love for me that I can’t return but I love that it’s an all-in kind of love.  While I could put myself in his shoes and say, “Dang, why doesn’t so-and-so reciprocate my love?” I flip it and I imagine God singing it to me.  The song means so much more that way.  “Cause I never had a choice when it came to you,”...that line knocks me flat.  God has such an unfathomable love for me.  I don’t have children but I know that the moment I held my nephews or met my niece for the first time, I was in love.  It wasn’t even a fair fight because there is no bone in my body that doesn’t love them.  That is the same way with God.  I am HIS creation.  Every one of my genes was hand made by him.  How could he have any other choice than to love me with everything he has?

Because I interpret the previous verse that way, the chorus hits me hard

But if you ever get lonely
And you miss me
If you need someone to listen
Even if it's only 
The sound of someone's voice who loves you
That you need to hear
You know where to find me 
If you ever get lonely 

I can be so selfish with my time and go days without giving God any of it.  While he waits there patiently, he is constantly calling out to me, asking me to give him even the tiniest bit of my attention.  And even when I do, I am still being selfish because it’s a one sided conversation.  I go to him with all of the things I am upset about or with ideas of how my life could be better.  Even after all of this, he still wants me to call on him because all he wants is time with me.  Eventually, my selfishness turns to thanks and praise because he does listen and provides me with what I need.  He is so good!

Another lesson I have learned this month is that I am not a fighter...when it comes to guys.  I will not fight for a guy...1) because if the guy I am interested in wants to go for the other girl, I don’t want him anyway!  and 2) I am worth fighting for.  I am old school.  I want to be pursued and I think I am worthy of pursuing.  God has pursued my heart so why shouldn’t a guy do the same?