Before this month started, I stopped seeing a guy who I was really starting to like. We didn't know each other for that long but we had a connection that doesn't come around often. The problem though, was that he is not a Christian and refused to go to church. I respect that and understand that church is not for everyone but ultimately, I am looking for a guy that wants to share that passion with me. After some discussion, we decided it was best to cut ties. It hurt but I was excited to go into the month without any distractions. I was going to read the book my friend and I are studying together and was ready to put God first, pushing guys out of my mind....right....like that was going to last long!
Already, I have seen how Satan is at work and the sad part is, he is winning. He has me totally distracted with the guys he is placing in my life. However, I am completely aware and awakened to his schemes. Why waste my time on relationships that, if I was honest, I know are not going to pan out? I know who I am in the Lord and I know that God has the best in mind for me so I will no longer give the enemy that chance to swoop in and make me feel unworthy and vulnerable.
The book we are reading is written for girls way younger than me but it has some good points here and there. As I continue to read it, I will approach it with a new heart. I have high expectations of the guy I know I deserve but I also need to become the person he deserves as well. This transformation is going to take sacrifice and it's going to mean denying my fleshly desires but when I think about what I will gain in the process, it trumps everything I am giving up!
If someone told you one day, "I have loved you, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love, I have drawn you to myself," you would think that was pretty romantic right? Who doesn't want someone to love them with an "everlasting" and "unfailing" love? This is what God promises us in Jeremiah 31:3 and this is going to be the verse I meditate on the rest of this month. This is the love I want to experience and I can by drawing closer to him. With a love that intense, I can be certain that He only wants what is best for me and I am trusting in that.
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